Abject Fear

I've learned that there are points in your life where people have a lot of advice. For us as a couple, it started with the purchase of our dog, Lucy. The wedding was another example, along with Kaye's pregnancy. So, of course, raising Charlotte is the latest. I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of "advice". I say "advice" because all too often, it's not really advice, it's people telling you how they do/did things and why everything else is wrong. In the end, if feels like people aren't allowing you to have your own experience. In other words, nothing you're experiencing is new or original. Typically, nothing is new or original...but it is to us.

Good or bad, I think Kaye and I went into this experience fairly well prepared, mentally. Most of this is fairly obvious...from the immediate love you feel for the child to the lifestyle changes [ala FAQ #4] to the complete exhaustion. To be honest, I fell in love with Charlotte the day Kaye and I decided we'd try to have children. I just hadn't met her yet. What I wasn't prepared for was the paralyzing fear that something could happen to her. It started the day we found out Kaye was pregnant. Both Kaye and I tried to be as careful as possible with her pregnancy, but I became almost superstitious, something I typically am not. Now, I find myself checking on her at night to make sure she's ok.

Saturday night, we picked up Charlotte from Kaye's parent's after being out to dinner with some friends. I was putting her down to change her [yes, me] and she went into what I can only describe as a "choking fit". She couldn't breath and was heaving as if she was vomiting. There was panic and crying...and Charlotte was pretty upset too. When Kaye got to the room, Charlotte was crying and still having some problems breathing. After crying for another 15 minutes, she finally settled down. I'd appreciate it if she didn't do that again and I'm guessing she feels the same way.

FAQ #4 and Back to work...

I returned to work today after spending 2 weeks at home with Charlotte. How does that make me feel? I believe the video below sums up my thoughts on how it feels [don't try this at home]:

It was nice to be able to spend that time with her. Other than dropping the television remote on her head once, I think she came out none the worse for wear. It only really grazed her, but I felt pretty bad. She's sleeping through the night now [knock on wood]. She's even managing to do it in her crib...as opposed to in her car seat, which was the case for the first couple months.

Kaye's last day at Associated Bank was yesterday. She'll be starting her new job at Marine Credit Union on Monday. We're still waiting on day care. In the mean time, our friend Sandy has agreed to watch her.

FAQ #4: Boy, I'll bet your life has changed, hasn't it?
Well Duh!! However, not as much as people seem to think. Granted, she's been pretty low maintenance as far as babies go [knock on wood, again] and I know things will get more hectic as she becomes more mobile. We weren't exactly living the "rock and roll" life style before she was born. Now it's just about logistics and equipment. Any outing is planned around naps and feedings...and any trip, no matter how small, involves lengthy discussions and negotiations on what equipment will be transported and utilized. When I really think about it, we were already planning around my naps and feedings, so that's nothing new. So, in the end, it's really only about the equipment.

Who are Colin Hay and Willy Porter, Alex.

I've received a few questions about the music in the background of the video posted after Charlotte was born. The first song is Colin Hay's, "Hold on to My Hand". Colin was the singer in Men at Work and is great solo artist.

The second song is, Willy Porter's "Water Color Sunrise". Again, great singer/songwriter and amazing guitar player. This was the song Kaye and I danced to at our wedding, not realizing that it was over 5 minutes long. I realize the title of this Blog implies we are, but neither of us are so self-indulgent that we feel people need to watch us dance for 5 minutes.

FAQ #3: Getting any sleep?

I'm doing fairly well in that regard. Kaye? Not so much, depending on the night. Charlotte is up every 2-3 hours for varying amounts of time to eat. She isn't a big fan of her crib yet. So, for now, she's spending her nights in a baby papasan chair . We're still pretty early in the game on this sleep thing, so we're not to worried about it yet. Easy for me to say, huh? Given my lack of the appropriate feeding "tools", there's not a lot I can do when she's hungry at 3 AM. We're working on making some "food" available for me to feed her, but we haven't reached our full "production capacity" yet...so it's a little hard. I'm pretty honest about my uselessness when it comes to late night feeding and Kaye taking the brunt of the lack of sleep. When I answer this question, people's response is funny. It's either an amused understanding or mild disgust. Then again, that's people's response to a lot of things I say.

Otherwise things are going well. Charlotte had her first visit to the doctor last week. Everything checked out. She had her first New Years Eve party last weekend. That she slept through. How she can manage to sleep through a group of middle aged men playing "Guitar Hero 2" but can't manage to give her mother more than a few hours of sleep at a time at home, I'll never know. Then again, it was preceded by a short trip in the car...which is like baby Ambien to Charlotte.

I returned to work yesterday after almost 2 1/2 weeks off with Kaye and Charlotte. Returning to work was not easy. Obviously, I'd rather be home with my 2 week old child. But just the thought of returning to work was tough. I grew up in a family of teachers. People [not me] complain that teachers make too much money considering they "get the summers off". However, now I'm convinced that they have to pay them that much just to come back after a summer off. I can't imagine having all that time off and then trying to convince myself that returning to work is a good thing.

Lastly, Charlotte and I discussed the prospect of Brett Favre's retirement and we both agree he should stick around for one more year, at least.

FAQ #1 revisited

How's Kaye doing? She's a trooper. I'd be a much bigger whiner if I was her. She is, however, uncomfortable and ready to have this baby. This morning, she explained to me that tonight we're going to find the sheet that has all the pressure points on it and work the ones that induce labor...nothing weird, I think they're on her hands and shoulders.

FAQ #2: Are you breastfeeding?

So, next on the list of baby classes was "Breastfeeding 101". I don't know the actual title of the class, but that's what I'm calling it. All went well, other than walking in and noticing no men in the room. Luckily, a few guys showed up right before class started. Let's just say, I had a moment of unrest. The instructor was talking about the first 3 questions people ask when they find out you're pregnant. If I recall, they were, "Is it a boy or a girl", "When are you due?", and "Are you breast feeding?". I don't think I've ever asked anyone that question. I'm not sure if I'm a prude or I just wasn't that interested.

I've learned that people have a lot of questions about the pregnancy. Every time I'm asked a question, I'm reminded how clueless I am. One friend of mine asked where Kaye was carrying the baby. I replied, "In her uterus, I hope". She followed with, "Well, where is the placenta attached?". "I don't know. Is it supposed to be?". Either, I'm not asking the right questions, or I'm on a "need to know" basis with Kaye, the baby, and our Midwife. So far, I'm ok with that.

Next up...Baby Care Basics. Wish us luck...

Photos of the Peterson Baby Shower and Other "News"

Peterson Baby Shower

So, we finally have some new info to post. Kaye's family threw us a Baby Shower on Saturday night. Much fun was had, much food was eaten, and the baby recieved some cool gifts. My mom had a shower a couple weeks ago at her home. Unfortunately, no pics were taken with our camera. If anyone has any, we'd love to post them.

I hope to post some new exciting video of the baby's room tomorrow night. Kaye can finally start nesting in that room...rather than resorting to moving furniture around in the living room.

We had our Baby Birth class this weekend. What did I learn? Other than the obvious stuff, I'm even more convinced that at some point during labor, Kaye will want to kill me. I'm fairly sure that if I'm as encouraging as those guys in the videos were, Kaye will remove one of my limbs. Also, they asked us what traits we'd like our child to inherit from our spouse. I think it took Kaye about 20 minutes to come up with something.

We've been getting a lot of questions about names. We pretty much have it figured out, but we've been keeping it to ourselves. I think that's going to be the policy at this point. I don't want to jinx anything, for fear that she'll turn out to be a "he". Not that there's anything wrong with that. Other than the truckload of pink/pastels we've got in the house at this point.

FAQ #1: How’s Kaye doing?

Kaye’s doing well. In the last several weeks she’s been feeling a lot better. The first trimester wasn’t a lot of fun for her, but it’s gotten a lot better. She can feel quite a bit of movement and claims that she can feel it on the outside. I have yet to witness this, so I’m convinced she’s just messing with me. It wouldn’t be the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

Oh, and I don't think I've mentioned this, but she's due December 24th.