I'm a horrible influence [as if we needed another example]

Several Oktoberfests ago, every picture anyone took of me I looked like this. For some reason I thought it was funny. It's bad enough that I've apparently dragged Kaye down to my level. But, it's very sad that I couldn't shield my daughter from such behavior. Next thing you know, she'll be wearing a German alpine hat and yelling "This hat is makin' me hot!!". [That one's for you, "M-Lo"]

How I want to spend my retirement

This weekend, Kaye, Charlotte and I visited a few rummage sales. Yea...we go to rummage sales. Once again, don't judge me!! WE visited one a few blocks from our house. While we were there, a older gentleman was letting us all know about the deals we could get. In fairly deep and loud but monotone voice he would say, "Here's a star shaped basket for only 25 cents!" Or, "Here's ten or twelve afghans for five dollars! These would make great Christmas gifts!" At first, I thought, "Enough already. It's a rummage sale. I don't need the hard sell." However, as time went by [maybe 2 minutes], I slowly realized that this wasn't his rummage sale. He was a mere customer, just like us. It was at that point where his antics became funny to me. He didn't stop. "Here's a TV for five dollars! And it works!".

Luckily, there was another sale two doors down. Kaye and decided to check it out. Just as we were getting ready to leave, the same gentleman was walking his bike up to the second rummage sale. We watched him walking up to the driveway, already letting everyone know about the table that was available. There were people leaving who stopped because they thought he was talking to them. It was at this point, that it became downright hilarious to me.

We moved onto a third sale several blocks away where Kaye knew the owners. Just as we were about to leave, I spotted an older gentleman approaching on his bike. In my head I'm thinking, "Please let it be him. Please let it be him" The comedy gods were smiling down upon me this day. I turned to Kaye and said, "Kaye, it's him." Please understand, that while Kaye does tolerate my sense of humor, she doesn't always agree. Sometimes, it becomes necessary for her to explain or translate to friends and family why I'm laughing. So, she began to explain to the owners of the house why I was so excited. To which, they replied, "Oh, Mr. Anderson" [names changed to protect the comical]. They knew the guy. Unfortunately, I didn't stick around to learn more.

Fast forward to today. One of my coworkers frequents rummage sales more than I do. Occasionally, we discuss our experiences. Yes, we're that boring. Of course, I started telling her this story. She immediately asked, "Was he riding a bike?...Oh, that's Dave Hanson." Apparently, he's a retired guy who does this because he thinks it's funny. He's in on the joke. It was at this point that his antics became comic gold. To me, it's even funnier now that I've learned that he's doing it on purpose...because he thinks its funny. She confirmed that, while he may be a little eclectic, he's certainly not the nutty old man I thought he was. Come to find out, he's a comic genius.

That, my friends, is how I want to spend my retirement.

If camping is so relaxing...

why am I so tired today? Sheesh.

We took Charlotte on her first camping trip this weekend with a group of "friends" from Waupaca. I'll explain the "quotes" later. Charlotte was really only there for one night and did fairly well. We brought along a Pack 'n Play for her to sleep in. She was having none of that. She ended up sleeping with Kaye. She could sleep with me, but I get the jimmy arms so I'm not sure she would have survived the night. When I was a kid, my sister and I used to sleep in the same bunk. I think she was the recipient of a few shots to the head back then. For now, Charlotte can't defend herself, so it's best that she sleeps with Kaye.

Since we were only about 30 minutes from my mom's house, we went in to Waupaca on Saturday to spend some time with her. We ended up spending all of the afternoon there and Charlotte spent the night with her. On our way back, I received a call from a friend who was camping with us. He informed me that they had a storm blow threw the campground and our camper was now laying on its side. I repeatedly asked if he was just messing with me. He said that he was walking around my camper as we spoke. It looked like it was ok, it just needed to be righted. When I hung up the phone, I told Kaye what he had told me...but also informed her that there was a 50/50 chance he was just screwing with me. Worse yet, he'd leave me hanging for the entire drive there thinking my camper was laying on it's side. Either way, I was not happy. Meanwhile I'm going through insurance, photos, repairs bla bla bla in my head.

As we drove into the campground, Kaye noted that nothing else seemed to be wrong. Kids were swimming. There wasn't even a twig out of place. Approaching our campsite, I could see that nothing was wrong with my camper. Apparently somebody felt neglected by our absence. Everyone else seemed to think it was hilarious. Hence the "friends". Friends like these make you appreciate your proctologist.

Great time...looking forward to next year.

Things Charlotte [or her mere presence] has taught me- #1-5

1. It is perfectly acceptable to walk up to a stranger's child and play with her feet. I don't really mind and I'm by no means a germaphobe or so protective that I don't want strangers touching my child. I find her feet fascinating too. In fact, I think they're hillarious. Maybe it's because I easily scare small children, but I've never just walked up to a stranger's child and started touching them. Then again, I found out a long time ago that having a child really warps people's boundaries in several areas.
   
2. Babies are "Chick Magnets". This is something I've always known, but never fully realized. Recently Charlotte and I went out to dinner at Hooters with my friend Tim. I should explain that, although I don't dine there very often, I don't see anything all that wrong with Hooters and neither does Kaye [at least not that she admits]. Don't judge me!! In fact, Kaye was invited but couldn't make it due to work. I would have preferred that she was there so I didn't look like that guy who would bring his baby to Hooters in an effort to garner more attention from Hooters Girls. Regardless, that was the effect. She got a balloon. I've been there a few times...never got a balloon.
3. Baby spit-up doesn't taste good. Not that I thought it would, but hold a kid above your head long enough...it's bound to happen.
4. There's a huge difference between waking up at 5:30 AM and waking up at 6:00 AM. Maybe it's psychological...maybe it's physiological. Regardless, it matters. When I hear that first cry at 6 AM or later, I feel like I've won the lottery.
   
5. Traveling with a baby is like touring with a rock band. First, everybody's happy to see you. Ok, they aren't happy to see me, but it's still a lot warmer welcome than I normally get. Second, there's the equipment/logistics. It's all about packing and scheduling around naps and meals.